Years ago I attended a high school summer camp retreat, and one night, one of our adult leaders corralled all of us girls into a room, leaving all of the boys on the other side of a closed door. What did this top secret, girls-only discussion consist of? In telling us not to settle, she was telling us something that every girl knows subconsciously in her heart but often fails to believe because of the doubts and insecurities she faces: she is worthy. Every woman is worthy of being loved the way God made her to be loved; no woman should ever have to feel like she is giving up any of her values or beliefs in exchange for a relationship. My favorite part of this story?
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Having high standards is not gender related. Guys have their preferences, as do girls. Wardrobe, car, looks, body type, smoker or non-smoker, rugged or cleanly polished — everyone has their preference. But are these standards appropriate? I think to an extent, yes. A relationship will inhibit you from finding yourself and being happy on your own.
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Especially in the context of relationships, there is a certain degree of old-fashioned ruling that both sexes willingly abide by. Sometimes playing into gender roles, no matter how un-politically correct it sounds, can actually be fulfilling to each partner. And while this may sound troubling, it can also be quite empowering at least to the dominant gender. Here are the double standards of adult relationships in which the women can get away with a lot more than the men. After some back and forth about who is going where, which partner ultimately decides to make the move?
It is such an awkward and somewhat-necessary evil if you ever wish to marry. Are they the right person? Are they not? Are you wasting your time?